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Sleeping, writing, crochet and Kindergarten!
garnetpixie
I haven't written much of anything lately. It's not that I don't want to... I've just been busy. Gabe is in Kindergarten. He comes home and wants to eat, eat, eat, until dinner. Then he's too tired to eat dinner. Asleep at 8:30 pm awake at 7 am. He really needs that much sleep?! Two years ago he would go to sleep at 9:30 pm and be WIDE awake at 5 am. I miss how adorable he was when I cut his hair, and he wanted to dig around in a planter box with a bumble bee shovel. I miss walks to the park right down the street. I miss when life moved slow and all I looked forward to was tomorrow. Now it's busy. Like a jet. Things move by too fast. I don't take many pictures of my child or his accomplishments. I'm not very sentimental with pictures. I mean... It's all digital. And one day everything will be dust anyway. We can't live the way we have been living without sucking our resources dry. Why take a picture every day after school?! What point is there in remembering how big my child's hands were when he was 5 years old? I like that I have a phone and I can send pictures to my mom, or my sister, to make up for time not spent together. They get a photo diary of Gabe. Sometimes. When I'm not super busy. Like the picture from his Back-to-school night I haven't sent to my mom yet.

Speaking of busy... I have been crochetting a lot. Like my hand hurts when I'm done. I made 80 light periwinkle blue  miniture granny squares in two weeks. Now I need to work on getting it to 200 in two weeks! Seriously though, I have been working hard at getting my Etsy populated with items to sell. I added two new ones a few days ago. I still have one to get done and take pictures of before I can list it. Basic baby layette. Sweater, booties, bonnet and sockies. I have one made and sent to a friend (Who is having/just had her baby last night/this morning!) and two more for a cousin who just had a baby and his sister who has one on the way. I know the baby born on the 2nd is a girl, and the baby being born right now/last night is a girl. One mystery baby. I'm making everything yellow for that baby. Nice and neutral. At this moment there are 30 red squares right next to me. I grabbed the wrong project bag. I keep a skien, hook and if needed a pattern in ziplock bags for projects. Easier to grab a bag and have a seat to work then to dig through a hook holder, box of yarn and pattern books (or hand written pages). I grabbed the red yarn instead of the pink. I blame my lack of sleep.

Sleep... sleep... sleep. Where did you get off to? Am I anxious lately? Are my dreams disturbing and I cna't remember them? Why can't I sleep? I use to flop in bed, pretty much already asleep, when I was working 60-90 hours pay periods. I worked 13 hours New Years Day, after working 12 hours New Years Eve. That was one of 3 times I worked like that, but I covered a lot of extra hours. Extra hours. Extra time in a place I hate. Extra time covering everyone else's asses. Extra time away from my Gabie. So... Why can't I sleep? I sleep for a little while then toss and turn the rest of the night until right before my alarm goes off. Time to get up and get Gabe ready to walk to school. I walk him to school and then I walk back home alone. About 2 City blocks. We cross 5 streets and sing "Five Little Monkies Jumping on the bed" while we walk. Hugs, kisses and, "I will pick you up after school," then I'm off, walking alone. I si ton the bed and crochet while Ben does his work stuffs. I don't know a whole lot about it, but we usually eat lunch together at the very least. Sometimes I use headphones and listen to music or watch shows on my laptop while I crochet. Then it's time to walk back over to pick Gabe up from school. Walk. Walk. Walk. Wednesday I walked to his school then back home 3 times. That's close to 1 1/2 miles. Why can't I sleep?! Last night I woke up and rolled over when I heard the Tums jar. It was loud. Ben wasn't laying down. I rubbed his spine a bit and he offered me a Tums. I don't remember after that. Then I was awake again an hour or so later. Check the time on my phone. Lay on my pillow, blanket curled under my feet to keep warm. The sliding glass door is open and the screen shut. It wasn't cold when I got up to pee. I only got up once to pee. I woke up at least 5 times. Instead of getting 6 hours of sleep like my phone told me I would when I made sure the alarm was set, I got about 4 hours of sleep. Why can't I sleep? I don't eat or drink before bed. I find it hard not to fall asleep in the car, or while waiting for somethign to load on my computer. It's not fair that my 5-year-old gets 11 hours sleep when I can barely even get enough sleep to function.

I miss writing. With all the crochet projects, helping where I can with my sister's Wedding, Gabe, Gabe's school and whatever else is going on I can't find the time. Even if I could find the time, what would I write about?!

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